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I would hate to think that a part of me would need to be kept hidden, even if it appears irrelevant to my current situation. When I was a teenager I learnt, through the bigotry of the people around me, that my attraction towards other boys was wrong and that I was a pervert: I welcome the fact that the generation that followed mine was able to make freer choices to be themselves and not be so constrained by the hostility I grew up in. I came out as gay in my early 20s, then dated men as it seemed much easier and hid my attraction to women for most of my 20s. Being at university around other young, open-minded people allowed me to think about my sexuality and to discuss it with others. Again, that is advice that could and should be given to any couple. Because I am one end of the spectrum, I find it difficult to imagine a continuum.

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Gay, straight, bi or none of the above? How to describe your sexuality


Loading comments… Trouble loading? But I think my ideas and feelings about my sexuality have been constantly changing since I was aware of having any sexuality. Surely attraction and love has more to do with the person than their gender? Any couple considering marriage should be really sure that they are sexually attracted to one another — whether either of them experience same-sex attraction or not. Contact Us contact us using our online form. Within all marriages, people with no same-sex attraction at all experience attraction to people other than their spouses, obviously. Certainly my fantasies are not always heterosexual.

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Should all same-sex attracted Christians come out? So, some simple and obvious advice to draw from this would be as follows. Things can change in life and you are attracted to people for such a vast variety of reasons, some of which we are not even aware of that surely ticking a box cannot sum up that experience. Binaries have only served to divide us, making sexuality something that needs to be declared as gay or straight for people to be able to put us into boxes or pigeon-holes, as Kinsey would have said. I realised I was attracted to women when I was around 13, and men around Sexual desire is not a bad thing!

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